I’ve just been busy. Sounds like an excuse, doesn’t it?
I currently have four posts in progress that I’m stressing over because, well, because I have anxiety and self-esteem issues and can pick apart just about every aspect of something each and every time I review it. Oh, wait, I can’t say it like that someone might think… or someone might take that the wrong way… this could trigger someone else… that sounds like I’m being mean….
And so forth and so on. Such is the way. These posts, like this one, are forcibly off the cuff. While that’s nice and all, I really find myself yearning to dig deeper and work harder. So I’ve been jotting down post ideas as they come to me (thank you mobile phones and sticky notes!) and later spending some time expanding on them and pulling in some research as needed. Which means, there is a future point whereupon these posts have the potential to become more substantial. Though today they are residing in the draft folder.
I’m working on it. I’m trying to increase my immersion and build some confidence. Retrain and retool. Practice makes perfect as I’ve been told — though I wish I’d never heard that saying because it implies that perfect is something attainable which it quite assuredly is not. The entire concept of perfection is absurd and of absolutely zero help when it comes to anxiety!
Love & Light