MIA for about six months. I know no one is heart-broken over it! LOL
A lot of changes have transpired in that time. I’ve moved — in with my love and my kids in a new town.
I’d love to say that everything has merged together seamlessly, but that just isn’t the case. It’s taking a lot of adjustments and tolerance.
I think I’ve mentioned that I mother two teenage girls — it’s no picnic — and they seem sure they are not in need of any mothering. So day-to-day relations are a struggle. Picking battles are a struggle. Not giving up on them is a struggle.
My youngest (pre-teen boy) is by far the easiest and most well-adjusted at this point. I can’t help but assume that is because he has no preconceived notions or attitudes to battle with about being here with us. The girls are just flat out defiant at this point and as such turn down every single opportunity presented to them that could even possibly bring them anything other than additional fuel for their angst-y teenage girl drama. I love them — I really do — but I really do not understand why they insist on not giving anything a chance and opt instead for constant misery.
I’m taking a lot of attitude and a lot of blame from them. Considering the amount of blame I place on myself for just about everything in life already, it’s not affecting me very well either.
Instead of trying to enjoy our new life together, I find myself excessively anxious and depressed more often than not. Every day trying to please everyone — which we all KNOW is an impossible task and not one that anyone should ever be trying to shoulder. I can’t help being that person, though. It’s inherently a part of me that I simply cannot fight.
So, that’s where we are at this point. Fun times.