Sleep Subliminal Sessions

About six months ago I found and started listening to these sleep subliminal sessions on YouTube, published by a Thomas Hall (a hypnotherapist in the UK). At the time my anxiety and depression were peaking pretty high and I was feeling really desperate. I’ve been off meds for quite some time now — maybe close to two years? Largely in part due to lack of health insurance.

Anyway, having just recently gotten some health insurance again, I looked into getting back to therapy. I contacted literally every mental health practice listed in the approved providers database and guess what? Not a single one of them had space. Not one.

Now, the last time I went to therapy, I spent a significant amount of time finding someone who not only specialized in issues like mine, but was also published in mental health journals. Of course she had no immediate openings, but I was able to get on a wait list. That wait list gave me hope that, eventually, she would get to me. I just had to hold on, one hour, one day at a time, until I got a call. And I got that call.

This time? Nope. They were all saying they were booked up to six months out and not even accepting names on their wait lists! What??

As is my usual method, I once again turned to the internet where I read about sleep subliminals and brain re-training. I’m generally pretty skeptical of most things, after all, I do have anxiety and can blow just about anything up into a catastrophic event that feels real and sends me off. But at this point, really, what did I have to lose?

Do they work? I don’t know. I really don’t. I do sleep better and enjoy the white noise they provide, if nothing else. I do wake up feeling more refreshed and with a brighter outlook most days. Though I’m also going through a lot in my personal and family lives right now and it’s really hard to hold on to positivity.

I’ve never really been good at knowing whether anything I’m trying to do for my anxiety and depression is actually helping. Sometimes I think I need to be re-diagnosed. It all seems somewhat cyclical.

I’ll be off the rails in the pits of despair wanting to disappear and end it all and that can drag on for months at time, and then I level out to my normal (which, if I’m being honest, the depression seems to be cyclical — my normal feels like it’s just the anxiety, if that makes sense? Though sometimes I am super depressed about the anxiety — so it’s all some huge entanglement I suppose) anyway, I like to think that they do help a bit more than simple affirmations, but it’s really hard for me to tell.

I also don’t just listen to the ones specifically about anxiety and depression. I cycle through a bunch of them depending on what I’m feeling I need a boost with: confidence with people, making friends, boosting self-esteem, breaking bad habits, boosting creativity, etc. He really does have quite the library of videos!

So just in case they could be of benefit to anyone, I thought I’d share.

Love & Light

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