I should be working right now. Money is, afterall, the only thing it seems one needs to get by in this world. But I’m distracted and have a million and one things battling inside my head. So much that I want to say and do.
Yet I sit here, fingers poised over the keyboard, unable to find the words or put them together in a way that makes sense. Another million thoughts start whizzing around. The anxiety stifles output.
I’m so tired of anxious thoughts. So tired of questioning myself at every moment of every day. So tired of always feeling like nothing I do is good enough for anyone. So tired of feeling worried, ashamed, scared.
Just so damn TIRED in general.
I press on and on and on. I think about whether the issue is anxiety or depression. About whether things will ever change.
So this morning I’m just throwing up three little bitty steps that could help myself get back on task – and stay there long enough to be productive at something — anything.
- Envision the end goal. Today, I keep reminding myself that monies earned today will benefit December – a holiday month and a month I was hoping to be able to take a short vacation to a beach somewhere to recharge. I love beaches. I love ocean waves. I love the sounds of the beach, the smells of the beach, the feel of the sand beneath my feet… it’s cleansing and freeing. (The problem with this is it sort of also adds pressure to the urgency of getting it done but….)
- Break it up. I know I need eight hours today, but I don’t have to do all eight in one long stretch. What if I try for one or two? Take a short break and build myself up to do it again? That could work.
- Breathe and re-center. It’s so hard to clear my head… I’m going to have to do a lot of breathing. Maybe I’ll start with a focus flash screen or a short meditation – I do have a few on my YouTube list.
How about you? What are some things you do to get on task and/or stay on task? I’d love some more ideas!
Love & Light