Can’t take it

Seriously. I just can’t. I’m so tired. Why does everything have to be so f*cking hard? Why do I always feel so alone? Like I’ve got no one ever to lean on or talk to or depend on? I’m just so tired of this horseshit life. I’m angry and hurt and sad and so many things all at once. In two weeks it will have been 27 years since my mom passed away. I’m gonna be brutally honest about the fact that I’m still sad and angry about that even! Like, why the hell did she have to leave us

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Too Much Compartmentalization?

Feeling very much like my life is so piecemeal it’s impossible. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately: how compartmentalized it’s become. Sometimes compartmentalizing can be a good thing, sometimes not so much. A coping mechanism? A tool to succeed? A method to hide? If it hasn’t been somewhat obvious, amongst my many issues lurks childhood trauma. Too often, I feel moved or motivated to share about that and I have to stop myself. Why? Well, for starters, there are members of my family who would be hurt to hear the truth and I just can’t do that to

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When Fighting Anxiety: Don’t Fight It!

The funny thing I’m realizing about my anxiety is that when it gets out of hand, it’s because I let it get out of hand. I don’t say that as a way to place blame on myself — trust me, I have plenty of blame and guilt already and I don’t need anymore. What I’m beginning to realize, is that anxiety is more of a control issue. If I control the situation before it gets out of hand, an anxiety/panic attack will have been successfully diffused. Yes, I realize that it’s not always that simple in practice; but it’s also

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