There are days when I mourn her loss, though I never really knew her at all. What I want most is to love her. And what I’m truly mourning I think, is my failure and inability to truly see her, acknowledge her, console her, wrap her up in my arms and love her, encourage her, and help her grow to see safety in the world around her so that she can become the best she can be.
Yesssss! It’s time to start planning. Noooooo! Why the heck is everything wedding-related so expensive?! I’ve been married before, that’s no secret. This time, however, it’s the real thing. Because it’s the real thing, I want the REAL THING. LOL Last time was a last-minute, thrown together in about six weeks, super low budget, potluck affair at which I was the size of a house, 8 1/2 months pregnant, hot and sweaty in the oh-so-dreaded sticky month of August. Let’s not repeat that fun. Now that I’m getting ready to marry the love of my life, there are a few
Only everything. Seriously, everything. Everyone talks about it, fantasizes about it, reads about it, watches movies and television shows about it, dreams about it and wants it — LOVE. It’s the stuff that makes life worth living and dreams worth dreaming — that close, personal, intimate relationship. The kind where you can share any and every thing with that one special person and know that no matter what they are still going to want you, to need you, to love you. That they will neither pass judgment nor hold a grudge against you. Someone who trusts you and believes in
December, already. So much has been going on this year that it’s no wonder it almost feels like it went from January to December in just a few weeks’ time! Lack of funds caused me to procrastinate on Christmas shopping (and of course, finding the spirit), so I’m now doing the “OMG it’s Christmastime” shuffle! Keeping it a bit lean this year in anticipation of having a lot of expenses in the coming new year. Thankfully, my kids are all old enough to be able to understand. Had a fabulous birthday weekend with my love and her family. She surprised
Tuesday was an interesting day here. I got notice that my divorce complaint was successfully filed and that I now needed to serve my husband and get him to sign an acceptance of complaint. In continuing to try to keep this civil and simple, I obviously served him myself. Directly after, I had to explain what it meant and what happens next because I honestly believe he has no clue. He’s so in denial of reality that he continues to insist that if I was truly being nice, I’d be working on staying together. Nope, sorry. I’ve done this pseudo-marriage