Can’t take it

Seriously. I just can’t. I’m so tired. Why does everything have to be so f*cking hard? Why do I always feel so alone? Like I’ve got no one ever to lean on or talk to or depend on? I’m just so tired of this horseshit life. I’m angry and hurt and sad and so many things all at once. In two weeks it will have been 27 years since my mom passed away. I’m gonna be brutally honest about the fact that I’m still sad and angry about that even! Like, why the hell did she have to leave us

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Losing the war

It’s getting harder to wake up each morning, yet I continue to do so for my children more than anything. They’re almost all grown. Nowhere near ready to tackle life entirely on their own quite yet. I’m growing more hopeless and tired of struggling all the time. Every day. Every single day. Why is it so hard to get by in this world? Is it because I just can’t conform to the expectations of this ridiculous society in which we exist? Is it because I am ultimately unworthy? I can’t really seem to figure it out. I’ve continued to push

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Writing Prompts

Ok. So, I’m situated on the couch today, trying desperately to find a transcription file that isn’t total hell to work on in the middle of a feeding frenzy due to recent shortages in the work queue, so that I can earn at least a couple of bucks this week, and, I’m going to be honest, I’m failing miserably. Files are flying off the queue and coming back repeatedly due to difficult audio and accents and I’m basically getting nowhere. Next browser tab (because, really, who ever doesn’t have a million open tabs at any given time these days?!), I

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Working with Anxiety: Arrrgghhhh

I’m feeling the strain especially hard these days. The contract work I’ve been doing the past year or two has fizzled out and the bank account is working its way down to zero — yet the bills continue to accrue. The simple fact that I need to find another way to bring in some money in order to continue to live is obviously presenting itself as yet another stressor in regard to my already moderate to severe anxiety levels. I think I’ve mentioned in the recent past that I am back on medication (sertraline HCI – the generic equivalent of Zoloft®)‎,

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Pow-Pow-Powerball!

Historic jackpot of $1,568,400,000 last night in the multi-state Powerball lottery game has been won! Congratulations to to all those who beat the odds of 1 in 292.2 million – sadly, I wasn’t one of them. The winning numbers: 08 27 34 04 19 PB 10 PP 02 After rolling over 19 times, Powerball Fever grew stronger. Realistically, with those kind of odds, I wasn’t even after the jackpot, I’d have been happy with a couple hundred thousand — enough to buy a home outright. Oh well, the jackpot resets and it all begins again. To all those who won a large

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