Can’t take it

Seriously. I just can’t. I’m so tired. Why does everything have to be so f*cking hard? Why do I always feel so alone? Like I’ve got no one ever to lean on or talk to or depend on? I’m just so tired of this horseshit life. I’m angry and hurt and sad and so many things all at once. In two weeks it will have been 27 years since my mom passed away. I’m gonna be brutally honest about the fact that I’m still sad and angry about that even! Like, why the hell did she have to leave us

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Playing Catch-Up … again

Let myself slide quite a bit over the past few months on this little blog of mine. So once again, I’m driving by to play a little game of catch-up! I’m just about finished with my first three courses since deciding (again!) to go back to school. It’s been interesting, to say the least. Definitely struggling with — okay, maybe struggling isn’t exactly the right descriptive word, more like stressing, worrying, stressing some more, crying, quitting, panic attacking, shutting down over — writing assignments, research papers, forum postings and peer responses. Overall though I’m managing to chug along. As usual,

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I am OK – and feeling anxious is OK, too!

I recently ordered a self-help book to try to work on this social anxiety stuff by myself. After days and days of searching and reading reviews and checking suggestions on various forums for Social Anxiety, I decided to buy Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness: A Self-Help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques. I’ve just crossed over from Part I to Part II. Part I of the book is all about understanding Social Anxiety. There’s a lot of information presented that I, obviously, am already quite familiar with, but there is also a lot of information presented in ways that I’d never thought

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Ack! Why is everyone judging me?!

And why the hell would I have a public blog if I cared so much about being judged?! Good question! I’m not so sure I have a good answer though. I have Social Anxiety. Social Anxiety is weird. It sort of makes you constantly battle yourself against what you want. Most of the time, what you want is exactly what your mind insists you’re afraid of! Fear is a very powerful emotion. It can wreak havoc on every facet of your life and essentially hold you hostage. Most of my fears are completely irrational. I know they’re irrational. I’m a

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