I’ve began prepping for this year’s NaNoWriMo. Despite my social anxiety, I’d really like to make an effort to immerse myself in a supportive writing environment, which means, I could use some writing buddies. I joined forever ago (2012) and haven’t kept up. But I’m committed this year, really I am.
I remain convinced that in one or more of my possible past lives I was a champion of the people. Fighting boldly for that which was just and humane. Self-sacrificing, pure-of-heart, strong, determined, fearless. My anxieties the result of countless past lives meeting their demise at the hands of stake-burnings, severe beatings, beheadings, stonings and the like. Yet deep within the spark remains. The tiniest ember. Glowing softly, weakly, beneath the deluge of several lifetimes’ worth of wreckage. Smoldering–both in the physical and emotional senses. Waiting, wanting, needing. Always with the potential to rise up in a gloriously hungry blaze,
It might seem like it’s easier to interact with others online, but social media can provide new stressors and a deeper sense of isolation. Source: For People With Social Anxiety, The Internet Is A Blessing And A Curse | HuffPost I’ve mentioned before that I read articles for a living. It’s not the best living, but it jives fairly well with my social anxiety, generalized anxiety, depression and other diagnoses that impact my ability to successfully work outside the home, and it’s better than making no money at all. Anyway, in the course of that I came upon the article
Breaking free is hard. I’ve looked back on my blog posts over the years, which are all over the place of course, and I’ve visited my old writing accounts on various forums. Stopping short of digging out the plastic bins in storage filled with notebooks and journals, little scraps of paper, article and magazine clippings dating back as far as the 1980s — I just wanted to refresh myself on where I’ve been and where I may be going. Countless times I’ve proclaimed to be washed anew. Fresh-eyed. Open-hearted. Ready to forge ahead at my goals full steam only to
Today is an interesting day. Interesting because, unlike most days, I seem to have a bit of time on my hands. There are no extra hours being granted for work. Other than my usual daily chauffeuring, I have nowhere to go. There’s a chilly dampness in the air today. It’s gray and sort of sad and lazy out. It’s raining the sort of rain that just kind of comes and goes, misting everything but refusing to just let go and pour out full force. Not much unlike the struggle to fight back one’s own tears only to have a stray