The Powers that Be

Writing prompt courtesy of “Write about the last thing you lost.”

The clouds hung dark and heavy in the sky the day I lost my mind. Looking back, I should have realized it was coming. Those ominous clouds were a telltale sign from the powers that be — whoever or whatever they may be. I was neck deep in desperation. Intensely hyper-focused on maintaining the appearance of wellness. In that regard it is easy to see how I neglected to notice.

One day I was running the race, doing all the seemingly right things and the next it was as though I’d been plucked from my cozy, yet hectic, little life and thrown into a whole new chaotic realm where I was forced to start all over again. Those powers that be, they don’t mess around much. When they decide it’s time for a change, well, they change things.

But who or what the hell are they? And why the hell do they get to make those decisions? This is supposed to be my life.

It felt like I had been strung along for thirty-some years. Allowed to believe I had free will and was a rational, thinking being capable of making my own choices. Only I wasn’t. I never was. It had always been them pulling the strings and I was little more than a puppet. Their plaything. My life a mere source of amusement to them.

I pictured them, sitting around a gigantic table, the earth flattened into the likeness of a game board. Seven million or so game pieces representing each person here on Earth. The ultimate Game of Life. Decks of cards from which to draw throwing out new challenges, rewards, or pitfalls. Oddly marked dice with ridiculous numbers of sides which determined the next move for each and every playing piece on the board.

Flooded with angry outrage, all I wanted was to ascend to wherever they were and flip over the entire table. Let the pieces fly all over and disappear into the nothingness. Free the entire human race to live as they pleased and not as they orchestrated.

And that, that was when I realized, I had lost my mind.

[This piece has become part of a larger work-in-progress.]

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