The World SUCKS: A Rant

It’s no secret that I’ve been struggling to find a regular job for well over a year (close to 2, at this point). I can’t even begin to count the number of jobs I have applied to during that time period, but I can tell you how many have requested an interview: ONE.

One interview request in 2 years. That’s ridiculous.

(No, I’m not counting my 3 month stint with the temp agency, which was the reason I had to turn down the ONE interview request, because it came exactly 3 days after I reluctantly agreed out of sheer desperation to commit myself to the temp position.) What can I say? I’m honest. I made a commitment. I followed through.

Yes, I’ve been technically self-employed for the bulk of the past ten years. Yes, if you break down my past earnings to an hourly rate it appears to be too high for someone with no completed upper education and any job I apply to will not be able to match it — I’m well aware of this! I know damn well when I apply for a position that I am not going to be making the same kind of money — I apply anyway because I’m okay with that! I’m real.

Yes, if you run a credit report as a preliminary part of the hiring process you’re going to see that my credit has nose-dived. Should that be a determining factor in whether I’m worthy of a job? I think not. Exactly why do you think my credit has tanked? I *can’t* make payments with *no income*! Who can?!

It’s not like I’m sitting on my butt happily collecting unemployment checks — self-employment doesn’t qualify for UE where I live. I’ve seriously had pretty much zero income for almost two years.

Yes, I know I have some skills that exceed the jobs for which I’m applying. No, I don’t think that should disqualify me either. You have a position that will provide an adequate amount of work to occupy the time period you are scheduling me to work in and you’re going to pay me regularly? That’s ALL I’m asking.

No, I don’t have any recent experience in particular field sets (such as customer service and cash handling). I’ve tried retail stores and they won’t hire me.

Straight-up data entry positions – nope, they want a college degree AND recent experience.

I don’t even think my anxiety issues have anything at all to do with this inability to find a real job. Okay, maybe a little because I don’t think I can deal with a call center job (but I don’t apply to those anyway, largely because THEY want degrees and sales experience, and a salesman I am not.)

Do I need to go in and literally beg in tears for them to hire me? Is that what I need to do? Is that the way the sucky world works these days?

Seriously, I’m a smart girl. I learn things fast. I enjoy keeping busy. I love working on computers, love reading, love researching, love learning, love tackling a challenge. Pretty much everything I’ve done while self-employed, and every skill I’ve acquired during that time, has been self-taught because that’s just the kind of person I am.

The world has no place for people like me, apparently.

No, I’m not the most social person in the world (social anxiety… ugh). No, I’m not the best team player (social anxiety… double ugh). No, I don’t want anything to do with gossipy pain in the rear “office politics” drama — I don’t think my adult life should be like a high school repeat. Yes, I like to feel like my “job” serves a purpose toward a greater end.

BUT, I am a hard-worker. Given the opportunity, I generally excel at most tasks. I *want* to love a job, and I *want* a steady paycheck so I can FIX my credit again, continue providing a roof over my kids’ heads, and get back on track to building my life.

How much more motivation do these people think it takes? I have kids to support. You have a job opening? I have a willingness to learn, work hard and do my best for the sake of my family. How about you give me a chance?

Honestly, the world today SUCKS.

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