Merriam-Webster says it’s: supreme self-confidence: nerve, gall.
I don’t have it.
You know who does have it? Donald J. Trump. In spades. Outwardly anyway.
I’m not sure it’s even a good trait to have in most situations. I mean, if you’re supremely self-confidant, one could argue that it works to your detriment. That one with chutzpah shuts down any naysayers and refuses to consider any alternate options or opinions. They refuse to listen, to consider, to learn and modify or adapt based on that learning. I equate it to emboldened ignorance, in a way.
I am not now, nor have I ever been, a fan of his. I did not vote for him. I do not believe there is any good he can do for this country.
I mention chutzpah because there is so very much to say about the current state of the world and I just don’t have the nerve, gall, or self-confidence to say any of it. This blog was intended to be a space in which I could attempt to stay true to myself, speak my mind without fear of repercussion, and basically, just be me. I haven’t even managed to embrace that as a matter of habit.
My anxiety permeates every action and inaction, every thought I have and every word I type. This blog is just as much a victim of it as I am myself. For that, I am sorry.
I don’t foresee it getting any better. Since the late night/early morning hours of November 8-9, 2016, I have been increasingly more anxious and fearful. Each cabinet pick announcement adds to the fear and anxiety – to the feeling of being unsafe in my own homeland.
I can’t pretend I know what the future holds, but I can state with confidence that I am truly scared for myself, my loved ones, my family, my friends, my neighbors, even my enemies and the entire world-at-large. I’m hoping for the best — but absolutely going to attempt to prepare for the worst.